Inflammatory title, I know. I’ll use this opportunity to state that I will be leaving names out to protect my family and I. This post will be about homicide bereavement and how the Canadian justice system routinely fails victims in order to pander to abusers.
I, for one, am sick and tired of people preaching to me the so-called wonders of “restorative justice” and the “Nordic System” when it comes to violent, abusive people who use manipulation as their weapon to charm enablers and keep the abuse cycle going. The coddling of abusers by the current criminal code is one of the chief things which keep generational trauma going.
How do I know this? I’ve seen it with my own eyes.
It’s been over three and a half years since my father was violently murdered by a drug addict with an extensive criminal record of committing violent crimes (including assault and break and enters).
I’ve had to listen and read the perpetrator’s children do whatever they can to paint him as the true victim of the system. Honestly, I feel sorry for them knowing that they’re ultimately being manipulated by their own father; he who twists words and has them so accustomed to hearing him threatening to murder people that they don’t think it’s a red flag anymore.
With the way the current system is set up, I know that the perpetrator will be out in a few years. Free to assault or kill someone else, as he always does when he’s given the opportunity. He knows what to say to make people think he’s remorseful, he’s a professional of fake tears. He plays the victim, even after leaving behind a legacy of trauma inflicted onto other people.
Yet, I’m told that I should be “reasonable” when I say that I know he’ll reoffend the second he’s given a chance. He has a 40 year long pattern of escalating his violence, anyone can see that.
Pointing that out, I’m told that he should walk free because a life sentence is too “barbaric”.
That I should “forgive him” because he said sorry.
Unfortunately, when it comes to abusers, forgiveness is reserved for the dead ones. The dead can’t hurt you again, so it makes sense to forgive them.
Because of him, I get panicked whenever I receive an email from the hearing board about his annual attempts to be released early. I fear that one day, he’ll likely come after me or my siblings. Or perhaps even my mother.
The despair and fear is my life sentence. I find it increasingly harder to find pleasures in the small things from life anymore.
I find myself more irritable hearing the preachings of luxury beliefs from people who have never been victimized, and will likely never become victims themselves.
Sorry, I needed to vent.
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